For most of my life, I’ve felt like I was different from others. Mostly on the outside. But sometimes on the inside too. I was taller than the other girls my age and just bigger as well. I equated my size with being fat. I felt fat. I was called fat. It was an awkward age.
Then something magical happened. I lost weight and became quite athletic. Overnight I went from being known as fat girl to hot girl. Who knew there was so much power in how one looked?
Even though I looked different on the outside, I still struggled on the inside. I still saw myself as that fat girl others had labeled me as. So much so that I developed an eating disorder. I had a distorted body image, to say the least.
I was clumsy too. Always bumping into walls, tripping over my own feet. My mom once called me a bull in a china shop. I was never graceful. No matter how much I changed my appearance, I was still clumsy. Oh how I longed to be graceful like the other girls appeared to be.
It’s only been in the last few years I’ve come to appreciate my klutziness. I view it as grace-challenged, to be politically correct. And the closer I draw to the Lord, the more I realize any amount of grace I receive is completely from Him.
So today, I am graceful. Maybe not in the traditional way, but I am full of God’s grace. And His grace is enough.
Leigh A. Hudson
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