For Sale.
That’s what’s written on the sign in front of our house. We’ve been trying to sell it for over a month and have had lots of people stop by. We’ve had some interesting conversations to say the least.
Two little words, for sale. But they carry such weight. If you’ve ever sold a home before you know what it’s like. You keep your home neat and tidy and show it a lot. Hoping, praying for that right person to buy it.
It feels awkward having strangers roam about your home while you sit outside on the porch. I wonder what they are thinking. Feeling. It’s like we’re putting our house out there and allowing folks to “try it on” to see if it fits them.
When I was on the streets of Los Angeles, I experienced a similar phenomenon. Men would drive by my corner and check me out. Then decide if I was the right girl for them. Then purchase me. For an hour. It was horrific. But I was for sale. This was my life.
It’s not like I chose this life. It chose me. I’d experienced sexual abuse as a young girl by someone I trusted. And over time, I became highly sexualized. Being sold for sex was just another line I’d crossed. It was the natural progression after years of being seen as an object, not a person.
God rescued me from that pit over 20 years ago. But I continued to live life full of shame, self-hate and regret. I didn’t realize until 10 years ago that I’d been bought by the Only One who wouldn’t use me: Jesus. He’d been with me through it all. Caught my tears in his bottle (Psalms 56:8). Weeped when I was raped. Beaten. Left for dead.
It’s been a process. Realizing my new identity. I’ve struggled, at times, to understand the radical grace of Jesus Christ. How he could accept me after all I’ve done. As I draw closer to God, he reveals more of his love for me.
There’s a new sign outside the house of my soul. With one simple word:
SOLD.
If you get up close there are two words in tiny print:
ORIGINAL OWNER.
Maybe you’re feeling like you’ve done too many bad things to ever be redeemed by God. Maybe you think your sin is too big for the Cross of Christ. You couldn’t be further from the truth. Christ died once for ALL.
Consider leaving a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Leigh A. Hudson
*photo credit: Leigh A. Hudson
Beautiful truth, Leigh. Thank you for sharing this. So thankful for that grace that bought us and sets us free!
Thanks Eileen. His Grace is indeed enough! I’ve enjoyed getting to know you on the launch teams!
Amazing God, amazing grace, amazing WOW! Thank you Jesus.
Joseph,
Thank you for stopping by! God is amazing! His grace is sufficient. I am amazed in the presence of such a glorious God!
Funny how God can turn the ugliest of experiences into hope for so many. Thank you for your willingness to share! You inspire me!
Thanks Janet. You’ve always been such an encourager to me.
Blessings!
Leigh, way to go, two posts in three days!!! Keep it going!! This is a poignant reminder of who we are in Jesus, no matter what has happened to us or the choices we have made. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story with us. It is an honor to receive both.
Thanks Tammy! You are being used by God to help me have more courage in my writing!
A couple of nights ago I watched your Celebrate Recovery video & was humbled by your story. It’s so amazing to hear your story and to hear how God has gone about creating something beautiful out of the ashes of your life.
Thanks to Tammy, I saw this post & was reminded again today about Jesus being with us each step of the way & how He collects our tears. Not only does He collect our tears, but He cries with us. He hurts when we hurt.
One of the things I’ve been crying over the past couple of years is my struggling marriage. I love my husband, and know God has a plan for us, but it is hard being married to a bi-polar man who seems worlds away. In the midst of the tears and the struggle, your post reminded me that Jesus is here, holding my hand, and crying with me. Even more so, He is hoping with me & fighting for me. And that is so encouraging!
Thank you for sharing your story, Leigh. And thank you for sharing the hope of Jesus!
Denise, your words are salve to my soul. Thank you. I’m sorry about your marriage struggles. As a therapist, I have a front-seat to a lot of hurting people and marriages are some of the most painful crucibles God uses to wield us into more Christlikeness. You’re dedication to your imperfect marriage is not lost on the Lord. He watches. You are honoring him. Keep focusing on Him and knowing He is there with you. Crying. Mourning. Grieving the loss of what could have been. But also knowing he takes broken things and makes them Beautiful. Lean into Him. May His loving arms hold you close and whisper in your ear, “I love you Denise.”
What Christ did to redeem us was already amazing enough, but to hear your story, made His glory all the more bright. Thank you for being so real and so honest.
Dayna,
Yes, we are the recipients of much grace! Thank you for your thoughtful words. My story is something I never wanted to share, and then God said, “That’s your ministry!” So never say never. God is a God who takes our junk and makes it into something glorious!
Thanks for stopping by.
Reblogged this on Whiter Than Snow and commented:
No longer a slave…
Beautiful post by a beautiful person.
Thanks Lydia!!
What an insightful “word picture.” Now whenever I see a For Sale sign, I can remind myself that I have been ” bought” by the blood of Jesus and again thank Him for my salvation and commitment to Him. How hard it once was for me to even imagine God could make something good come from abuse, and yet He does! He has transformed you into His awesome, beautiful warrior.
Claud! You have such a way with words! Thank you for always encouraging me and for bringing everything back to the Cross. That’s really the answer, isn’t it? I love you lady!
Leigh- I don’t have the words to comment to this. I know your story and I know the grace of God, but your words touch me in such a way I can’t explain. Please continue to write and share. — Margaret
Marguerite. God used your response in such a powerful way. Some day I’ll share with u! Love!
Leigh~ Thank you so much for writing this post. I was just on my computer out of boredom and happened upon your blog. This is exactly what I needed to see tonight and I am so thankful that you posted it. Feelings of shame, regret, self-hate, and worthlessness have consumed my life lately. Reading the part where you say Christ died once for ALL and about how Jesus is with us through it all really struck a cord with me. You are such a blessing in my life and I thank God for leading me to your blog tonight.
Elizabeth,
I’m so grateful you found me! Thanks for stopping by! It’s incredibly important for us all to remember His GRACE is indeed sufficient! Thank you for sharing your heart! May God hold you and may you feel His love for YOU deep down in your soul…
Blessings,
Leigh